Ironically, These Colors DO Run!

So, I ran the Philadelphia Half-Marathon today...it was the end of what I've been calling "Running Season".  I wanted to run a series of at least 10 races this year and this one made 11...the playoffs, the championship game, the one for all the marbles.  I was looking to clear 13.1 miles in under 2 hours for the first time this year.  So, since today was the big game, I put on my team colors.  I had on my custom New York Giants jersey and a fresh new matching skullcap.

Knowing that I was going to be running through the hometown of a fierce division rival on the day of a game against said rival that will decide who leads the division, I expected to take a lot of heat from the Eagles fans in the crowd...and maybe get "accidentally" jostled around by the Eagles fans in the race with me.  At most, I got a little bit of good natured ribbing from the hometown fans and a little commentary about the upcoming game.  What I got a LOT of, was love from other Giants' fans out there.  Some were watching and cheering for me, others were fist bumping me while racing.  New York was in the house!

At first, I thought "Ha! What kind of football town allows a jerk like me to run free AND get support from the crowd?"  But then I started looking at the other runners...there was a guy in a Brett Farve jersey...one with a red Spartan cape and Greek sandles...there was a dude in a "Where's Waldo" costume...multiple Hit Girls and a guy dressed as Superman who was completely separate from the woman dressed as Wonder Woman.  Judging by their official looking uniforms, I think the Mexican National Women's Distance Running Team was out there today.  In this and other races, I see mothers running with daughters, fathers with sons, best friends, loving couples, people with no shoes and sometimes people with no legs.

I came to the realization that, even though this is the Philadelphia Marathon/Half-Marathon, this is way bigger than Philadelphia.  There were roughly 23,000 people out there, they came from all over the country...all of the world, really, to do the same thing I came to do.  People fighting the same fight for drastically different reasons.  So in wearing my Giants gear, I wasn't an opposing force.  I was part of a patchwork of beautiful diversity...and I'm pretty sure I'll use that as my excuse to do it again in the future.

Great race...great times...see you next season!

Running is the reason I...

FYI: My Toes Are Never This Happy

So, at one point in the movie that inspired this blog, Edward Norton's character says "Fight Club became the reason to cut your hair short or trim your fingernails."  It was part of the dedication they built to the ideas Fight Club represented.  They weren't grooming for looks or hygiene...they were grooming because not grooming damaged the fight or at least the chance at winning the fight.  Running is the same way.  Over the last 18 months or so, a lot of my personal habits have been either inspired by or adjusted for running.

It starts with the toenails.  I never paid much attention to them....I'm so tall and they're so far away.  If I did, it had to do with the women in my life...they didn't want me scratching them with my hideously long foot talons.  One even went as far as cutting them herself...had to marry that one.  These days, long toenails get impacted by the front of my running shoes, turn black and fall off.  I've lost about 5 of them this year alone.  So, I cut them regularly now.  For Run Club!

Now, if you see me looking at the sky at night, I'm not stargazing.  Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Orion's Belt as much as the next guy, but I'm really trying to get a read on the moonlight.  Y'see, if I've got a full moon, I can put on some light clothing the following morning and not need to wear my reflective vest.  No moon?  Cloudy sky?  The vest is a must.  Safety first, right?


A lot of my daily operations are influenced by the addiction, as well.  I can't just put on underwear in the morning...I've got to think about the next morning.  Am I running?  Then I need running-appropriate underwear.  Can't have myself swinging around banging off my legs while running...and God forbid it's cold outside.  The word 'discomfort' does not begin to describe it.  During the day, I find myself sitting up straighter with my feet flat on the floor.  Can't risk creating a random ache or pain that might turn into a lingering injury during my next 10 mile run.  At night or on the weekends, I've cut out damn near all of my alcohol consumption.  It kinda sucks.  What doesn't suck is being able to wake up fresh in the morning and NOT conking out 3 miles early because of dehydration.  Even when I do drink, I fool my friends by loudly ordering a Long Island Iced Tea to start the night and then quietly ordering Shirley Temples for the rest of the night.

They get drunk, I stay sober and no one is the wiser...oh wait...

Running is a Dirty Business

They're never clean...even at the START of the race.

It's really to easy to be clean.  It's easy enough to shower everyday, wash your hands a lot and use hand sanitizer every time it's available.  Good general hygiene is just pretty simple to come by.  What's difficult is finding that dirt, finding that grime and not have people think you're just a nasty slob.  Running provides that opportunity!

Running gets dirty and you can't be afraid to get dirty right along with it.  As responsible adults, how often do we have an opportunity to get real filthy?  Obviously, you're gonna see a lot of sweat...you're running...duh!  What "they" don't always tell beginning runners is that sweat is the tip of the iceberg.  You probably won't be surprised to find that a lot of saliva finds its way to the ground when runners pass by.  You can't be too prissy to spit when necessary.  Be prepared for lots of phlegm, as well.  There's nothing like a well timed, well-placed snot rocket to clear out the sinus and keep the lungs at full capacity.  It's a necessity...trust me!

Full bladder?  Not me, I always solve that problem before I leave the house.  Some people don't...you'll see dozens of  them lined up outside of a bank of portable toilets.  Pretty much the grossest structures in the civilized world.  Now, depending on the length or location of the race, you might have a few of those banks spread out from start to finish.  Professional secret?  Even that's not enough!  It's not uncommon to see someone break from the pack and find their way under a bridge, behind a wall or into a set of trees to relieve themselves.  And once one person gives into the call of nature, invariably others join right in.  I'm talking men and women.  I guess it's easy to piss on a wall in public when you're surrounded by a bunch of random sweaty strangers doing exactly the same.

If you're serious about running, you have to be prepared for the many untold perils of running.  This goes double for practice runs out on the street.  The exhaust fumes from passing cars are easy to ignore...the exhaust fumes plus the rotten food smell from passing garbage trucks, not so much.  Running in grass and mud?  Cool.  Getting splashed by a car with day-old rainwater or running through a puddle and having soaked feet for the last 4 miles of your run?  Not cool.  Dodging bugs is slightly adventurous.  Swallowing bugs and running face first into spider webs is somewhat less adventurous.  It's hard to run directly into heavy wind.  It's even harder when that wind is blowing dirt and/or debris straight at you.  And don't even get me started on dodging roadkill.

The thing about it though is that when you love running, you take the good with the bad.  You endure what would normally be intolerable.  You love knowing that you can put cleanliness on the shelf and you love knowing that the people that see you wish they had the heart to get disgustingly dirty in the pursuit of something they love!

Even Pete Sampras Got Rocked On Clay!

This year, I ran a marathon, a half-marathon and a 4K walk for charity on the streets of Wilmington, Delaware.  I get out on the road three or four times a week to run on the various shoulders and sidewalks of my local area.  Between Bloomfield, New Jersey and Wynnewood, Pennsylvania, I've pounded the pavement to the tune of four different 5K races.

I say all of that, so that you'll believe me when I say I felt very prepared for the 5K I ran yesterday in Philadelphia.  Now, I've never been to Belmont Plateau.  My wife, a native of Philadelphia, had to assure me that it was the same "Plateau" that the Fresh Prince (Will Smith to all you latecomers) said "everybody goes" in the classic song Summertime.  She then had to assure me that the Fresh Prince wouldn't be there.  It's a shame, I thought, for him.  If he was there he'd see the 5K running I'd become so proud of over the course of the year.  The shame, this time, would be mine. 

With all of that road running I've been doing this year, I didn't know what to expect when I saw that the Start and Finish lines were both in the grass.  I haven't run on grass since high school soccer.  About a mile into the race, I'd come to miss that grass...when it promptly turned into a forest of dirt trails, rocky paths and gravel.  I haven't run on that stuff since I was a rowdy kid with scraped knees getting into trouble behind my mom's back. 

Now the funny thing about trail running is that you can't run too fast going uphill or you'll lose your footing and introduce your face to the ground.  At the same time, you can't run too fast going downhill because you can just as easily roll your ankle on some big rocks or build too much momentum and wrap yourself around a tree.  There's a lot of running side-to-side on trails because rocks and dirt never quite maintain an orderly straight line.  And speaking of dirt...getting it in your eyes, mouth and lungs while running is not the definition of fun.

I finished at just over 26 minutes...about a minute slower than my worst 5K of the year.  I was sore all over.  The course kicked my ass.  Had I talked to Pete Sampras before I started training for this thing he would've said, "Kev, I won Wimbledon seven times...but I never won the French Open."  And I immediately would've understood the message.  Unfortunately, I don't know Pete Sampras and I had to learn a lesson by getting mudhole stomped by a rough course.  The moral of the story: it's time to start training on multiple surfaces or risk embarrassing myself like Sampras on the clay courts.

Peace.

KILL ZOMBIES!!!!

So, I'm running through an amusement park putting 9mm rounds into the faces of the undead. They'll never catch me. Why? Cardio!

Something I learned while running...is that thinking about running while running SUCKS! You find fault with your form...you think about the pain in legs or the stitch in your side...you worry about how far there is to go. It's not so bad over short distances where you might correct your form for the best possible finish. Over long distances though, all you're doing is psyching yourself out.

To fight that off, I visualize. I put my mind in a better place...like slaughtering zombies...and forget that I'm running altogether. By the time I "get back", I'm a quarter-mile down the road. I might as well have teleported. I actually have a series of action sequences from movies, cartoons and my own imagination that carry me as I run. Most times, I even set them to the music I'm listening to...imagine shotgun blasts to the chorus of Boom by The Roots.

So when you think you seeing me on the road running, I'm really...
...at CitiField in a Home Run Derby vs. Albert Pujols, Ryan Howard and Prince Fielder.
...crossing over Skip-To-My-Lou at Rucker Park.
...playing lead guitar on the center stage at Woodstock with Titanium Faceplant.
...charging down hill with Russell Crowe swinging my broadsword at some unruly barbarians.
...piloting the Gundam Heavy Arm into a massive mech battle that only I'll survive.
...trapped in a warehouse blasting caster shells at K'Pirates with Gene Starwind.

Happy dreaming!

A General Statement About Me Getting Older.

Today, Tuesday August 24th, 2010, is my 32nd birthday.

I got up this morning intending on running 7 miles. So, I had my usual 5 - 10 mile breakfast, a packet of AccelGel and half a bottle of 5-Hour Energy. The 1st mile was brutal. I was a bit out of it...between lack of sleep and general soreness from carrying around my daughter the day before.

My legs were hurting but my mind was still focused and I decided to switch it up a little bit. After making a few deliberate wrong turns and getting lost on purpose I eventually found my way back to familiar roads and went home...over two hours later with almost 14 miles completed.

Without proper preparation or nutrition, I got up and ran a half-marathon. Between running errands and carrying my daughter, I'm going to be sore all day today. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I'll barely be able to move. On Thursday August 26th 2010, I'm getting back out on the road to do that same 7 miles I was planning on doing today.

I'm not getting older...I'm getting better...

NEVER make decisions while going uphill.

When you're going uphill, you're not thinking straight...you're thinking tired, drained, sluggish. You're thinking as if the rest of the run is going to feel exactly like it feels at that moment.

When I ran my first marathon, by about 20 miles in, I said to myself, "I'll NEVER do this again." I even said the words "First and Last!" to the event staff. When the race was over I took off my shoes and told my wife "Burn 'em. I'll never need them again."

About a week later while still recovering, I said that if my (as-of-yet unborn) daughter wants me to run one with her, I'll get in shape for a second marathon.

Fully healed, a week after that, I decided that I'm running two marathons in 2011...and I'm going to clear one of them an hour faster than my first one. Just the fact that I call it "my first marathon" is a remind to myself that I plan on running more of them.

Too many times I go out and without a distance in mind and decide where to turn around while running uphill. It's those times that I run 5 miles when I've really got 7 miles in me. Nothing sucks more than finishing and feeling like you didn't leave it all on the field. So in running, as well as in life, wait until you reach level ground before making the tough choices.