KILL ZOMBIES!!!!

So, I'm running through an amusement park putting 9mm rounds into the faces of the undead. They'll never catch me. Why? Cardio!

Something I learned while running...is that thinking about running while running SUCKS! You find fault with your form...you think about the pain in legs or the stitch in your side...you worry about how far there is to go. It's not so bad over short distances where you might correct your form for the best possible finish. Over long distances though, all you're doing is psyching yourself out.

To fight that off, I visualize. I put my mind in a better place...like slaughtering zombies...and forget that I'm running altogether. By the time I "get back", I'm a quarter-mile down the road. I might as well have teleported. I actually have a series of action sequences from movies, cartoons and my own imagination that carry me as I run. Most times, I even set them to the music I'm listening to...imagine shotgun blasts to the chorus of Boom by The Roots.

So when you think you seeing me on the road running, I'm really...
...at CitiField in a Home Run Derby vs. Albert Pujols, Ryan Howard and Prince Fielder.
...crossing over Skip-To-My-Lou at Rucker Park.
...playing lead guitar on the center stage at Woodstock with Titanium Faceplant.
...charging down hill with Russell Crowe swinging my broadsword at some unruly barbarians.
...piloting the Gundam Heavy Arm into a massive mech battle that only I'll survive.
...trapped in a warehouse blasting caster shells at K'Pirates with Gene Starwind.

Happy dreaming!

A General Statement About Me Getting Older.

Today, Tuesday August 24th, 2010, is my 32nd birthday.

I got up this morning intending on running 7 miles. So, I had my usual 5 - 10 mile breakfast, a packet of AccelGel and half a bottle of 5-Hour Energy. The 1st mile was brutal. I was a bit out of it...between lack of sleep and general soreness from carrying around my daughter the day before.

My legs were hurting but my mind was still focused and I decided to switch it up a little bit. After making a few deliberate wrong turns and getting lost on purpose I eventually found my way back to familiar roads and went home...over two hours later with almost 14 miles completed.

Without proper preparation or nutrition, I got up and ran a half-marathon. Between running errands and carrying my daughter, I'm going to be sore all day today. When I wake up tomorrow morning, I'll barely be able to move. On Thursday August 26th 2010, I'm getting back out on the road to do that same 7 miles I was planning on doing today.

I'm not getting older...I'm getting better...

NEVER make decisions while going uphill.

When you're going uphill, you're not thinking straight...you're thinking tired, drained, sluggish. You're thinking as if the rest of the run is going to feel exactly like it feels at that moment.

When I ran my first marathon, by about 20 miles in, I said to myself, "I'll NEVER do this again." I even said the words "First and Last!" to the event staff. When the race was over I took off my shoes and told my wife "Burn 'em. I'll never need them again."

About a week later while still recovering, I said that if my (as-of-yet unborn) daughter wants me to run one with her, I'll get in shape for a second marathon.

Fully healed, a week after that, I decided that I'm running two marathons in 2011...and I'm going to clear one of them an hour faster than my first one. Just the fact that I call it "my first marathon" is a remind to myself that I plan on running more of them.

Too many times I go out and without a distance in mind and decide where to turn around while running uphill. It's those times that I run 5 miles when I've really got 7 miles in me. Nothing sucks more than finishing and feeling like you didn't leave it all on the field. So in running, as well as in life, wait until you reach level ground before making the tough choices.

Beat him like he stole something!

So, it's August 12th and I'm running a 5k in Wynnewood, Pennsylvania. It's part of a series of 3 held by my favorite local running store. I ran 25m 15s in the first one in June and lowered it to 25m 7s in the July race. An 8 second drop off. I start thinking, "I just need to lose 8 more seconds to break 25 minutes" heralding the Return of the 8 Minute Mile! A pretty noble goal indeed!

I spend the next month wearing ankle weights and training myself to finish strong...and I was actually getting pretty good at it. Most of my training runs are loops and I started seeing entire minutes dropping off the return trip. It's not just a physical thing either, the stuff I tell myself on the way back is just different than what I tell myself on the way out.

Now it's race day and I know what I'm there to do. I've got "BREAK 25" written on my arm in magic marker. It's a three lap race...the 2nd and 3rd laps are a mile and the 1st one starts a little further back to add an eighth. I get off to roughly the same start as I did the first two times. Lap one: 8m 03s. I'm telling myself that if I can finish the 2nd lap in under 17 minutes that I can turn it on in the last lap and reach my goal. I keep reminding myself to push it and I can see the clock in the distance. It says 16 minutes and change...then I get closer and **SHOCK** I realize that it says 15 minutes and change. Lap two: 16m 02s.

So now I'm way ahead of the pace I set for myself...either I triumph or I fail in the most epic way possible. Every time I feel myself slowing down, I force myself forward. Every time I reach an incline, I tell myself to kick it's ass. Every time I reach a decline, I take full advantage of it. I'm closing in on the finish line and I'm determined to finish strong...REAL strong...and the clock reads just over 23 minutes. I've actually gotten faster with each successive lap...

...and then here comes some guy trying to pass me in the final stretch. What the hell? Who is this unfamiliar cornball trying to steal my glory? Didn't he realize how hard I worked? Couldn't he understand what I was trying to accomplish? After giving a nasty look to the back of him, I fall into a dead sprint and breeze past him right before the finish line.

In hindsight, I feel bad about getting angry at the situation...dude was just trying to do the same thing I was trying to do...and I probably shaved off a couple seconds just trying to beat him. But in foresight, I finished in 23 minutes and 39 seconds and I can use this experience in my next race...September 11th.