Running is a Dirty Business

They're never clean...even at the START of the race.

It's really to easy to be clean.  It's easy enough to shower everyday, wash your hands a lot and use hand sanitizer every time it's available.  Good general hygiene is just pretty simple to come by.  What's difficult is finding that dirt, finding that grime and not have people think you're just a nasty slob.  Running provides that opportunity!

Running gets dirty and you can't be afraid to get dirty right along with it.  As responsible adults, how often do we have an opportunity to get real filthy?  Obviously, you're gonna see a lot of sweat...you're running...duh!  What "they" don't always tell beginning runners is that sweat is the tip of the iceberg.  You probably won't be surprised to find that a lot of saliva finds its way to the ground when runners pass by.  You can't be too prissy to spit when necessary.  Be prepared for lots of phlegm, as well.  There's nothing like a well timed, well-placed snot rocket to clear out the sinus and keep the lungs at full capacity.  It's a necessity...trust me!

Full bladder?  Not me, I always solve that problem before I leave the house.  Some people don't...you'll see dozens of  them lined up outside of a bank of portable toilets.  Pretty much the grossest structures in the civilized world.  Now, depending on the length or location of the race, you might have a few of those banks spread out from start to finish.  Professional secret?  Even that's not enough!  It's not uncommon to see someone break from the pack and find their way under a bridge, behind a wall or into a set of trees to relieve themselves.  And once one person gives into the call of nature, invariably others join right in.  I'm talking men and women.  I guess it's easy to piss on a wall in public when you're surrounded by a bunch of random sweaty strangers doing exactly the same.

If you're serious about running, you have to be prepared for the many untold perils of running.  This goes double for practice runs out on the street.  The exhaust fumes from passing cars are easy to ignore...the exhaust fumes plus the rotten food smell from passing garbage trucks, not so much.  Running in grass and mud?  Cool.  Getting splashed by a car with day-old rainwater or running through a puddle and having soaked feet for the last 4 miles of your run?  Not cool.  Dodging bugs is slightly adventurous.  Swallowing bugs and running face first into spider webs is somewhat less adventurous.  It's hard to run directly into heavy wind.  It's even harder when that wind is blowing dirt and/or debris straight at you.  And don't even get me started on dodging roadkill.

The thing about it though is that when you love running, you take the good with the bad.  You endure what would normally be intolerable.  You love knowing that you can put cleanliness on the shelf and you love knowing that the people that see you wish they had the heart to get disgustingly dirty in the pursuit of something they love!

Even Pete Sampras Got Rocked On Clay!

This year, I ran a marathon, a half-marathon and a 4K walk for charity on the streets of Wilmington, Delaware.  I get out on the road three or four times a week to run on the various shoulders and sidewalks of my local area.  Between Bloomfield, New Jersey and Wynnewood, Pennsylvania, I've pounded the pavement to the tune of four different 5K races.

I say all of that, so that you'll believe me when I say I felt very prepared for the 5K I ran yesterday in Philadelphia.  Now, I've never been to Belmont Plateau.  My wife, a native of Philadelphia, had to assure me that it was the same "Plateau" that the Fresh Prince (Will Smith to all you latecomers) said "everybody goes" in the classic song Summertime.  She then had to assure me that the Fresh Prince wouldn't be there.  It's a shame, I thought, for him.  If he was there he'd see the 5K running I'd become so proud of over the course of the year.  The shame, this time, would be mine. 

With all of that road running I've been doing this year, I didn't know what to expect when I saw that the Start and Finish lines were both in the grass.  I haven't run on grass since high school soccer.  About a mile into the race, I'd come to miss that grass...when it promptly turned into a forest of dirt trails, rocky paths and gravel.  I haven't run on that stuff since I was a rowdy kid with scraped knees getting into trouble behind my mom's back. 

Now the funny thing about trail running is that you can't run too fast going uphill or you'll lose your footing and introduce your face to the ground.  At the same time, you can't run too fast going downhill because you can just as easily roll your ankle on some big rocks or build too much momentum and wrap yourself around a tree.  There's a lot of running side-to-side on trails because rocks and dirt never quite maintain an orderly straight line.  And speaking of dirt...getting it in your eyes, mouth and lungs while running is not the definition of fun.

I finished at just over 26 minutes...about a minute slower than my worst 5K of the year.  I was sore all over.  The course kicked my ass.  Had I talked to Pete Sampras before I started training for this thing he would've said, "Kev, I won Wimbledon seven times...but I never won the French Open."  And I immediately would've understood the message.  Unfortunately, I don't know Pete Sampras and I had to learn a lesson by getting mudhole stomped by a rough course.  The moral of the story: it's time to start training on multiple surfaces or risk embarrassing myself like Sampras on the clay courts.

Peace.